I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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