so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
