I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
