No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
