Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
