MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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