Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
