Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize