Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
