Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
thus making me awesome and them whores
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
