His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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