So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
