Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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