3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize