bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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