she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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