There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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