drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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