I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
