so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
