I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
