I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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