can u get pink eye on your cock?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize