I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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