whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
