I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
