Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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