Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
