is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize