girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
