I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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