You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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