He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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