I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
