ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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