Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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