After last night, I could never be a politician.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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