I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
