soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You can't just leave with hair like that
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Sext me about skeletons
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
