So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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