I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
