He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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