Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
