Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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