drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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