I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
