I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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