I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
