maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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