Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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