her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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