xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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