Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
