so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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