Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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