Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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