well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
