Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
another moral hangover. fuck.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
